


The guy gets the guy

by vcdbtch2



Series: Moreid [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Crying, Cute Derek Morgan, Derek is an idiot, Hugging, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad Spencer Reid, but he loves Spencer, moried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:40:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27486685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vcdbtch2/pseuds/vcdbtch2
Summary: Words could ever be enough to describe the feeling of seeing Derek Morgan walk in the bullpen with his new girlfriend. The entire team had heard about Savannah, she was all Derek talked about for months on end, but everyone was quick to assume she was just another quick fling.-Derek introduces his new girlfriend to the team and Spencer is distraught, though it turns out he doesn’t need to be.
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Mentioned Derek Morgan/ Savannnah Hayes
Series: Moreid [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008681
Comments: 7
Kudos: 136





	The guy gets the guy

Words could ever be enough to describe the feeling of seeing Derek Morgan walk in the bullpen with his new girlfriend. The entire team had heard about Savannah, she was all Derek talked about for months on end, but everyone was quick to assume she was just another quick fling.

Spencer could quite literally feel his heart tearing into two when he caught sight of Derek's large hand wrapped in her smaller one, and he prayed his heartbreak didn't show on his face as he stood up alongside his team to greet her. It tore the young Doctor apart to shake her hand, to listen to Derek speak so fondly of her, to watch his team show more interest in her than they had when he first joined the team.

It was possibly the hardest thing he had ever had to do, and it was only amount of time before his self restraint broke. He could feel a lump forming in his throat and he knew if he didn't excuse himself to the bathroom soon, he would end up crying right there and then. He pretended he didn't see the look of concern in Derek's eyes when he suddenly announced he had to go to the bathroom and ran off, only just managing to push the door open before the first sob escaped his lips.

He was grateful the BAU was busier at that moment, the combined chatter of the officers drowning out the sounds of his sobs. He covered his mouth with his hand and walked towards the sinks, clutching the edge of the hard marble so hard his knuckles turned white. He could feel hot tears running down his cheeks, dripping onto the floor but all he could focus on was the thoughts running through his mind. He was chastising himself for being so upset about a silly little crush that he knew from the start wouldn'tturn into anything. Most of all, he was mad at himself for not being happy for Derek, for putting his own feelings first.

Spencer was so caught up in his emotions he didn't hear the knock on the bathroom door until he glanced up and saw someone walk in. He was quick to straighten himself up and wipe the tears off his face with his sleeve, turning the faucet on to pretend he was washing his hands. It was lucky he did because when he turned around, Derek himself was standing near the door with worry etched into those brown eyes.

"What's wrong, why are you crying?" Derek frowned, making a move to touch Spencer's arm but the younger man flinched away.

"Nothing" Spencer lied. It was clear Derek didn't believe him for a second and just as he opened his mouth again, Spencer cut him off. "Do we have a case?"

Derek's frown intensified but he allowed the subject to change. "Yeah, triple homicide. Wheels up in ten, we're being briefed on the jet"

"Where's Savannah? Did she leave?" Just saying the name had another lump forming in Spencer's throat but he swallowed past it.

Derek gave him a weird look, obviously noticing the discomfort in Spencer's face but didn't push it. "She was called in for a shift at the hospital, she's a nurse"

"Oh" Was all Spencer could think to say. Somehow, knowing Derek's girlfriend was a nurse made things even harder. It was pretty clear that Savannah was the best girl Derek had dated in a long time, and it was even clearer she would be the best person for him, better than Spencer ever could.

With nothing else to say, Spencer ducked his head down and walked out of the bathroom as fast as he could, ignoring the burning feeling of Derek's gaze watching his retreating back. He was quick to stop by his desk and retrieve his satchel, not stopping to make his usual morning coffee before running to the jet.

***

The case was long and tiring. The triple homicide turned out to be a murder suicide so before they could figure out why the unsub killed the two other people, they had to figure out why planned to kill himself straight after.

The plane ride to New York was tedious, mainly because Spencer could feel Derek's worried gaze burning holes through his head. He could feel the older detective profiling him but he refused to give him the satisfaction of eye contact, instead keeping his eyes locked onto the book in front of him, though he was certain it was obvious he wasn't actually reading.

A few times, his mind would wander before he could stop it and nine times out of ten, it landed on the image of Derek's hand wrapped in a girls hand, someone that wasn't him. Spencer knew it was extremely selfish of him to not be happy for his partner, after all it did look like he had found someone who he could possibly spend the rest of his life with, but that still didn't stop the few stray tears that would escape.

Each time he would hastily wipe the tears with the corner of his sleeve, and each time he glanced up to make sure no one saw, he caught Derek's eyes darting away but it was obvious he saw everything. It made Spencer feel worse to see Derek's usually bright brown eyes so dull with worry and confusion. He never wanted to make Derek anything other than happy, and by him continuing to cry over spilled milk, he was making Derek the opposite of what he wanted

Now, 12 hours later on the jet ride home, things hadn’t changed. Derek continued to profile the young genius from afar and it was making Spencer more and more anxious.

Despite the older mans obvious concern, Derek never actually came over and asked what was wrong until a half hour before landing. JJ had just announced they were landing soon when Spencer felt a presence next to him and he didn’t have to look up to know who it was.

“Alright, you’ve been upset all day. First i see you crying in the bathroom, then you’re doing that thing where you pretend to read but everyone knows you’re just staring at the words and in New york, you were quieter than you’ve ever been” Derek huffed, plopping himself beside Spencer. “Pretty boy, please just tell me what’s wrong”

“Don’t call me that” Spencer squeezed his eyes shut, squirming under Derek’s gaze. The nickname was once the only thing that made his heart beat a million miles an hour, but now, hearing it come out of Derek’s mouth made him want to curl into a ball and cry.

“What? You’ve never had a problem with it before” Derek’s frown intensified. “Did i do something?”

The way Derek’s voice softened to just above a whisper had a lump forming in Spencer’s throat and he knew he wouldn’t be able to take much more interrogation.

“No” Spencer said, his own voice dropping to just above a whisper.

“Then what is it? You’ve been distant with me for a couple of months but today was a whole new level” Derek almost pleaded, reaching forward to take Spencer’s hand in his own. The feeling of their hands touching felt so normal, so right that he allowed himself a few seconds to bask in the overwhelming sensation before pulling away.

“See? You won’t even let me touch you anymore, its like you don’t even want to be around me”

Spencer gritted his teeth to stop himself from telling Derek about his stupid crush. He knew, he just knew it would come back to bite him one day but he was foolish enough to think if he waited long enough maybe Derek would come to him first.

“It’s has nothing to do with you, its me” Spencer said at one last attempt to cover for himself, though it was pretty clear he wasn’t going to get off this jet without spilling his secret.

“Spencer, i’m only asking because i care about you a lot and i hate to see you upset”

“You really want to know?” Spencer snapped, turning to look Derek in the eyes. The look of pure shock and confusion at his sudden outburst almost made him stop but he was just so tired and he really just wanted to go home and cry himself to sleep.

“I’m upset because i’m in love with you, i’ve been in love with you for over 5 years now but i never said anything because i knew you were straight and i didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I spent months trying to come to terms with the fact i like men and by that time, you were dating someone. I was so happy for you, but it was crushing me to see you happy with someone else. Believe me, i hated myself for being upset over something that was not going to work in my favour but no matter how hard i tried, it still hurt. Seeing you with Savannah today just finally made me realise nothing can ever come out of this, you’re in love with her and shes perfect for you, more perfect than i could ever be”

When he was done with his rant, Spencer took a deep breath before looking into the eyes of the man he loved. Surprisingly, it wasn’t hatred and disgust that was looking back at him, it was pure and utter confusion.

“I understand if you no longer want to be friends, i’m sorry i ruined everything i’m just so tired of having these feelings and keeping them a secret”

Before Derek could get a word in, Spencer had stood up and dashed towards the bathroom. He spared a quick look towards his team and was relieved to find that every member was asleep, save Rossi who appeared to he listening to music with headphones in so it was unlikely he heard anything.

Much like earlier in the morning, Spencer braced himself on the sinks, his head bowed as hot tears flowed down his cheeks. He couldn’t believe he actually confessed his crush to Derek, especially on the same day his crush introduced his new girlfriend. There was no other option, he was going to have to quit his job and move to a new city. It seemed a bit extreme, even to himself, but he knew his heart wouldn’t be able to take seeing Derek at work everyday, knowing that when everyone left work, Derek was going home to his love.

The two had so many happy memories in Quantico, it seemed almost impossible to keep living there when every corner of every street had memories.

When the pilot turned on the seatbelt sign, Spencer rinsed his face with cool water and walked back to his seat, clicking his seatbelt and keeping his head bowed as he did so. He could feel more than one pair of eyes on him but continued to blankly stare at his hands until the plane landed and he was able to bolt to his car.

***

Later that night after spending almost an hour sitting on the shower floor in a world of pity, Spencer got dressed in his comfiest pyjamas and curled on the sofa with coffee and doctor who on TV.

He would usually read a book at night to wind down but his mind was racing with a million thoughts at once and he figured if he watched TV, he could forget about his own life and get lost in the world of the show.

It worked. Spencer was able to calm his mind enough to forget about the day and watch the show, at least until there was a knock at the door and he was forced back into reality.

He sighed and stood up, scrubbing a hand over his face before looking at his watch. It was strange for someone to be knocking at such a late hour but he figured it was just his neighbour asking if he had seen her cat again so he didn’t think much about it.

Turning the TV off, Spencer walked towards the door and turned the knob. He barely saw the hallway outside before he was pushed back against the wall with lips attacking his own. He was alarmed at first but the second he inhaled the scent of sandalwood with just a hint of aftershave, he knew who it was.

Just as he suspected, when he pulled away and opened his eyes he was met with brown eyes boring into his own. He was too shocked and confused to move for a few moments, simply standing still with his mouth agape, until he realised what was happening and squirmed out of his co workers arms.

“Derek? What are you doing here?”

Derek didn’t answer, he just surged forward and connected their lips together. He was the first to pull apart this time, keeping Spencer trapped with his arms, their lips a breath away from touching again.

“I love you”

Spencer could feel a lump forming in his throat once again at the words. There was no way Derek liked him, this must be some kind of sick joke. Maybe it was Derek’s way of getting back at Spencer for ruining their friendship, maybe he wanted him to suffer.

“Y-you don’t” Spencer swallowed, desperately trying to keep himself composed. “You have a girlfriend, Derek”

Derek just shook his head, exhaling a breath that ghosted against Spencer’s lips. “I broke up with her as soon as we got back.”

“I don’t understand”

“Pretty boy, I was an idiot. The only reason me and Savannah started dating was because i didn’t want to come to terms with the fact that i was bi, that i liked you. You have no idea how long i’ve loved you, Spencer, possibly since we first met. You make me so fucking happy with that smile, the way you can spit out random facts that have no connection to the case but it makes me smile anyway. Hearing you say you love me made me finally realise i cant hide who i am any longer and if i want something, i should get it. I want you”

Spencer couldn’t believe what he was saying. For years, practically his entire time at the BAU, the man he was head over heals with loved him back. Years spent berating himself, being mad at himself and hurting himself because of the crush could have been avoided if either one of them had just gotten the confidence to say something.

“Please tell me you’re not just saying this to make me feel better, if you are it’s just making it worse” Spencer pleaded, his throat closing up and he just knew he wasn’t done crying that night.

“Spencer Reid, i promise you i’m saying this because i mean it. I love you so much it hurts, i’m sorry i was selfish and didn’t say anything, I’m sorry i hurt you all these years and i’m sorry i didn’t realise anything was wrong” Derek gently cupped Spencer’s face in his hands, lifting the younger mans chin up until their eyes met. “ I’m in this for the long run, i want to spend the rest of my life making you happy if you’ll let me.”

Spencer didn’t have to think before he was nodding, burying his face in the older mans neck, basking in the feeling of Derek’s strong arms wrapping around him. He felt safe in Derek’s arms, and he quickly realised he never wanted to leave this moment.

They stayed like that for a long time, Derek holding Spencer as he cried. He really wished he could stop crying long enough to kiss Derek again but he was so overwhelmed with everything the tears didn’t seem to stop.

“Is it okay if i call you pretty boy again?” Derek asked.

Spencer nodded into his chest, sniffling back tears. “Yeah, I’m sorry i told you to stop, it just hurt so much hearing that name come out of your mouth when you didn’t mean it”

He didn’t even realise what he said until Derek had his face in his hands again, gently but firmly pulling his head until they were facing each-other.

“Don’t ever say that” He spoke firmly, but his eyes held sadness and a hint of confusion. “You are and will always be beautiful, Spencer. I don’t call you pretty boy for nothing, i call you pretty boy because you are just that, pretty”

Despite not entirely believing Derek’s words, Spencer cracked a small smile at the funny feeling he had in his chest. Derek smiled at that too and leaned in, this time connecting their lips in a kiss much softer and less urgent.

Both men allowed themselves to feel the warmth of their lips together, the slick heat of their tongues sliding together, the feeling of eachother hands roaming their bodies. It was an experience neither men wanted to forget, and by the looks of it, they never would.


End file.
